The Ninja Elves And The Weapon Maker
by you.broke.a.promise
Summary: Stupid crack english challenge drabble turned fairytale. Based on The Elves and The Shoemaker and crossed over with Bleach to add a little spice. Leaning a wee bit towards SasuSaku .


The Ninja Elves and The Weapon Maker

Diclaimer: _Roses aren't always red and violets are just about never blue, I don't own this _**fairytale, ****NARUTO**_ or _**BLEACH **_and neither do you!_

"Would you quit that?" An aggravated growl.

"You started it!" A loud whine.

"Shh!" A frown.

"Yeah, Dobe, be quiet." A smirk.

"Shut up, Sasuke-baka!" A scowl.

"Both of you, hush!" A tired sigh.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan." Sincere eyes.

"Hn." A blank expression.

There were three that would come to collect dues each month. Everyone loved them of course, but people were still afraid. If they didn't have enough to pay, the dark elf, Sasuke, would be the most likely to attack. He was always a wee bit angry when the three came to them to collect and no one had the desire to piss these little elves off.

After all, elves, even being so tiny, could ruin your life if they wanted. You should never spite an elf. They were slightly magical after all, being able to pick up the skills of a ninja so easily. Each had their own jutsu and many knew that Sasuke had his own kekkai genkai. Each member of the village knew they had to pay dues to Tsunade, the leader, and if they stepped on or tried to harm her favorite elves, they'd be paying dearly.

"We're here to pick up your dues," Sakura told the man.

Sakura was the brightest and the only kunoichi out of the three. Her hair was a bright shade of pink and she had jade eyes that stared right into your soul. Her nose was slightly pointed and she had delicate features besides their coloring. She also seemed to be the one with the most common sense, keeping her boys in check.

"Hai." The man, a red head, handed over his dues, which was a large box of_ Ichigo's_ finest shoes. Bigger than the three elves, in fact. Sakura stared at it for a moment, turning to her companions.

"Naruto, if you'd please?"

Naruto was the loudest. He had brilliant blue eyes that pierced into your heart and blonde spiky hair that would put a buttercup to shame. He was tan, tanner than the other two. His wide grin almost never wavered.

"Sure thing, Sakura-chan!" He moved his tiny elf body around and put his hands together, making a single hand sign before lightly shouting, "Shadow clone jutsu!"

Several copies of the little blonde elf appeared all around the doorstep they were currently standing on. They all ran towards the box, all of them lifting it with ease.

"Thank you, Ichigo," Sakura said kindly to the orange haired man. He nodded. "Do you happen to know where Renji is today?"

His brows knit together for a moment before he laughed slightly, "He's probably in the back of his shop. You guys know he hates this time of the month."

Sakura nodded with a slight sparkle in her eyes, "Thanks, again. Good luck this month!" The man nodded again and stood from his crouched position, shutting the door. Sakura turned to Naruto, "Can you direct your clones to bring this back to Tsunade-sama?"

"Hai!"

The clones and the box were gone in a matter of seconds, along with the real Naruto. Sakura smiled slightly and grabbed Sasuke's wrist. "Now to Renji's and he's the last stop of the month, Sasuke."

Sasuke was the dark elf. He was family-less, aside from Sakura and Naruto. He was naturally a genius and despite his cold, emotionless façade, he did hide feelings somewhere deep inside that weren't just anger and annoyance. His face was very clear, onyx eyes that ocassionally flashed scarlet bore out onto the world. His hair was a dark ebony that stuck up in the back to look like a chicken's butt. Sakura and Naruto liked to tease him about it.

"Actually," He told her in an annoyed tone, "We were supposed to only get the upper east side of the village. Orochimaru, Zabuza and Kabuto were supposed to get the others."

Orochimaru, Zabuza and Kabuto were the mean elves. Orochimaru had purple-ish skin and he could manipulate his form, stretching around like a snake. His tongue could become long at a moment's notice and wrap around your neck, snapping it like a twig. When he spoke, he exaggerated his S's, making a hissing sound. Even his eyes were yellow and snake-like. Zabuza was pale as well, the bottom half of his face covered with bandages just because. He carried around a large sword (well, large for him) that could cut through bone. Kabuto was a little man (despite the fact that he was an elf!) With a white ponytail at the back of his head. On his face he wore round glasses. He was the one with medical knowledge, not all of it good. He could reach over and give you measles if he wanted.

Sakura scowled, thinking of the other three. They were cruel and Sakura didn't like them one bit.

"We're collecting at Renji's. That's that."

Sasuke pulled his wrist away from her with a scowl, but nodded anyway. They each made a hand sign and teleported over to Renji's weapon shop. Both pushed the cat door open and slipped inside, running quickly to the back of the shop. Sure enough, there sat Renji in a chair at his work table, pounding on a sword.

"Renji!" Sakura exclaimed excitedly once she and Sasuke had made it to the top of the work table, "How'd it go last month?"

Renji almost jumped out of his skin.

"ACK! You're here? Oh, it went fine, Sakura."

"Don't talk to her like that," Sasuke warned coldly, his arms crossed over his chest.

Renji scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. Gomen. And I don't have your weapon's supply today."

Sasuke smirked, his eyes flashing red with the sharingan, his kekkai genkai. Sakura, on the other hand, paled. Sasuke began to form the hand signs for one of his jutsu when Sakura stopped him.

"Renji! Why not? You know the consequences for not having your dues at the time of collection!"

"I know, Sakura-san, but I was hoping you'd let me slip, just this once?"

"Bu," Sasuke just about snarled, "How dare you think that we would-"

"We'll give you two days," Sakura said slowly.

Sasuke GAPED. "NANI?"

"You heard me. We're giving Renji two extra days. That's it though okay, Renji?"

He vermilion haired man nodded vigorously.

A moment later, the other three elves appeared with a low pop onto the top of the weapon's table. Orochimaru had his mouth open ready to demand the dues when he spotted Sakura's pink hair.

"Ahh, Sssasssuke-kun, Sssakura-sssan. What are you doing here?"

"We're collecting dues," Sasuke answered flatly.

"So leave," Sakura added, just as flat.

"Ahh, but Sakura-san, Sasuke-san," Kabuto replied with a smirk, "This is our jurisdiction."

"We're taking this one," Sasuke said through gritted teeth, wanting the others to just leave.

"Did you talk to the bosssss about thisss?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Hai," Sakura said quickly, "And she said it was fine."

"He doesn't have his dues, does he?" Zabuza inquired, looking around. "Which means," He grinned, pulling his sword from his shoulder, "That we get to slice and dice."

Renji shuddered.

"We're giving him two days," Sakura spoke up, "so no, you can't."

"We're collecting at the end of the two," Kabuto announced.

"You can't do–"

"Yesss, we can, Sssakura-sssan."

–A day later–

"Naruto," Sakura said calmly, "I want you to go to Renji's shop and see if he has Tsunade-shishou's weapons ready."

Naruto grinned, "Alright, Sakura-chan, but only for a price!" He puckered his lips, leaning in. Sasuke was there in a moment, his fist ready to knock the blonde unconscious.

"Do what you were told!" He growled, standing protectively in front of the pink haired kunoichi.

Naruto frowned but disappeared in a poof of smoke, returning several minutes later.

"He doesn't have it yet," Naruto said with a panicked tone. "Renji doesn't have it for tomorrow!"

"Well," Sasuke sighed, sitting down on an elf-sized chair, "He'll just get sliced up a little."

"No!" Both pairs of eyes went to Sakura, "We're going to help him."

Hours passed and later that night the three, jade, cerulean and onyx watched Renji work late into the night, trying to come up with his supply of weapons to give for dues. At around three-thirty in the morning, Renji finally passed out, still at the work table.

Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto quickly went to work, pulling and hammering and sharpening several throwing stars and kunai knives. Through all the noise, Renji didn't move an inch and his breathing pattern remained the same.

When morning finally came, and Renji opened his eyes and stretched, his jaw just about fell off of his face. There, in front of him lay the box with the exact amount of weaponry he was to provide. Mystified, Renji had no idea how he'd finished. Maybe in his sleep...?

He waiting smugly for Orochimaru, Kabuto and Zabuza.

They came at quarter to nine, each with a hopeful grin plastered on that read, 'well, I hope you don't have your dues'. He pointed to the box before any one of them could utter a word and Orochimaru scowled. Orochimaru summoned his little snakes to pick up the box and the they left without another commotion.

A month later Tsunade, their boss, announced that Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto would be taking on some new stops. Sakura appeared at her new house, Sasuke and Naruto in tow and said hello to her new associate.

The woman, her name was 'Momo', jumped pretty high and screamed, "IT'S AN ELF!!!"

Sakura looked at Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto raised an eyebrow and Sasuke frowned.

"I hate this job," He told them.

* * *

THE END!

yayaaayyy.

This was an English challenge thing. Brilliance. ;)


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